Squats Get More Doable But Never Feel lighter

My lifting program had be doing back squats at 245 5x3 today and although I know I can do it it still feels heavy as fuck. Your body screams at you that this shit is too heavy. I did the squats and got through them. They felt slow but the video shows them being pretty quick still. The fact that I did a WOD with high reps of sandbag step ups yesterday didn’t help matters nor did the fact that I stepped up oln a 24 inch box rather than the normal 20 inches that I’m used to.

It seems I am getting my deeper, more stable and more upright squat back. I am relearning to sit down. Part of the reason I think I had lost that to a point is I had gained some weight and my stomach got in the way a bit when I tried to sit between my hips. I had the natural ability too do that and sort of lost it a bit but it’s returning.

The heavier weight for me is more about the giant mental block. When things are heavy my brain tends to want to prematurely abort lifts since I don’t do this for injuries. I always have doubt if I feel my form even feel like it wants to break.. The reality of it is as far as back squats are concerned I really have only ever had one bad lift on a one rep max and got out of it safely. Other than that I have had a few times where I subconsciously dumped the bar as soon as the lift gets slow.

It gets a little frustrating at times that I bail to easily. I really don’t want to have a lot of grindy, slow, ugly lifts by any means but I do want to make some tougher ones and push out of my confortzone.